As the World Churns

Public warnings caught our attention this week:

Grab some coffee, your favorite pillow and pictures...
and evacuate!

With that, many coastal inhabitants left prized possessions and headed inland. Normal life stopped. Personal safety trumped routine. Faced with losing everything, waking to another day took precedence.  

For a few days now, we've turned from the daily grind and kept watch on a force of wind and water that can easily dismantle our way of life.

Far from the coastline, the weather here is calm. I even took a three hour nap this afternoon due to the remnants of a narcotic I swallowed for back pain last night. The deep ache is gone, but the lingering exhaustion reminded me why I don't take strong drugs very much.

But the day had been long and the pain too much to ignore.

A botched doc appointment didn't help. Lu had driven me almost an hour away only for us to learn I wasn't expected. A kind nurse sat in the lobby with me and sorted through the mishap as I wiped tears. And within a few hours of leaving, he called to say the doctor had looked over my MRI reports and definitely wanted to see me.

Thus, next week I have two pre-op appointments for my upcoming foot surgery as well as "take two" at the genetics' office.

So that three hour nap may have just been prep for the long week ahead.

In the mean time, I haven't mentioned the face issue in a few weeks mostly because I've been waiting to understand it more. After the MRI confirmed I don't have a brain tumor and didn't have a major stroke, a neurologist suggested the increase in white matter spots may have resulted from mini-strokes.

At this point, that diagnosis has been questioned and others considered. Bottom line, no one really knows why my brain has unusual spots.  

But when I think about it too much, my thoughts spin and swirl and disrupt my norm.

The same thing happened to the disciples once:

"A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, don't you care if we drown?'

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 'Quiet! Be still!' Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, 'Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?'

They were terrified and asked each other, 'Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!'" (Mark 4: 37 - 41 NIV)

Right in the middle of the storm, Jesus spoke calm. And right in the middle of ours, His words echo the same.

So I can get worked up or I can trust. I can allow the internal tension to build, or press into peace.

We've been trained to believe a lot of things matter that don't. And what does, He promises to provide.

Oh to live with a faith that calms storms and quiets the raging winds.

As the world churns, that's my goal.



photo credit: dudulandes au creux de la vagues via photopin (license)