With or Without Stable Legs

Late last week, I woke with news. Crazy news. The kind that made me smile even before coffee. 

Remember the podiatrist I fussed about in my last post? Well, after I shared my frustrations with you, I sent him one last email.

His response? “Now that I realize you’re talking about weakness and not just pain, you need a referral.” 

With the big picture finally clear, he wrote an order for AFO’s. When I thanked him for his help in a return email, he went further and admitted that he probably hadn’t been listening well.

Did you get that? A male doctor confessed he hadn't been listening. 

However, while his change of heart gave cause for celebration, I’m not very excited about AFO’s. The specialized braces may stabilize my neuro-muscularly challenged ankles, but a fashion statement, they are not. 

So, when my feet turned in two years ago, I opted for reconstructive surgery rather than a lifetime in AFO’s. But due to my fall last January, my peroneal tendon can no longer handle the job. Frayed and degenerative, it no longer supports my foot as it should. 

Ironically, after several days of off-kilter walking last week, I finally realized that an unstable right knee is throwing my gait too. With my left foot unwell, I ignored the injury after I fell in June. The knee felt loose, but didn't throw my gait until last week. 

For now, a knee brace stabilizes things.

So, two falls. Two injuries. And I haven’t even confessed to right shoulder pain.

Blah, blah, blah. 

It's all a bit overwhelming. And thus, my friends, this is where I shut down for a week.

Planning for AFO's during mitochondrial disease awareness week just made me sad. Peering at the reality through a microscopic lens weighed heavy on my soul.

I saw a doctor Monday morning. After a shoulder x-ray and MRI of my lower back, I've won two referrals for physical therapy. I see the knee and hip doctor in the morning and will know more of the overall plan then.

Knowledge settles the uncertainty. So, I feel more like myself today. 

Strawberry crepes with a chatty server, and crossing a few things off my "list," helped. Digging out my all time favorite ode-to-fall CD (Liberty, by Allen Levi) had me wiggle dancing in my car. Watching someone pressure wash my front sidewalk and porch stairs reminded me that fresh clean soothes many an inner ache. And seeing Gibbs and McGee make it home after a long summer away kicked off the new NCIS season well.

Life continues. 

With or without stable legs.

So, as the leaves silently turn and the air begins to chill, and this new season sets in for me, I'll whisper prayers of thanks until my heart catches up with my words. 

Oh how I long to be healed. Or to swallow the right concoction to power my cells. 

But for now, "I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me" (Psalm 13: 5 - 6 NIV).

AND... will you consider buying one of these super cool t-shirts to support mito awareness? We need to sell a few more so the batch will print. All proceeds go to funding a cure. Thanks!

"Looking for a Cure"

All photos courtesy of pixabay.com