Starbucks, Kroger, and a Book Worth the Read

The minutes are ticking by. And ever since I entered the world after two cups of coffee this morning, I've been ordering medicine, talking to a doctor's office that scheduled an appointment wrong, researching needed supplements, doing the laundry, and trying to keep an internet browser working on my computer now that Google has upped the anti.

My to do list is shorter.  But words still unwritten - just like last Saturday.

Four hours passed as I sat in a Kroger Starbucks that day, waiting for my husband to finish an appointment. Neither of us knew it would take that long, so I fought off frustration as the minutes piled high.

He had the car. I had my lap top.

When thirty more minutes passed, I packed up my belongings and strolled to a near by Barnes and Noble. A severe leg cramp had kept me from moving earlier. But grocery store jargon overlaid with country music narrative had long before dismantled feeble attempts at concentration. When emotional annoyance overtook the physical pain, I moved.

Anger grew.

I wasn't really angry with my husband. I was just irked by the little I'd been able to accomplish. I'd spent the week working hard on a musical I started sixteen years ago. The desire to finish brought focus to each day; the weekend interruption, unease.

Like today. When I found out an appointment made a month ago was scheduled with the wrong doctor. No fault of my own.

As I wandered the book store with a cup of Harney & Sons Cinnamon Spice Tea and two KIND Peanut Butter and Dark Chocolate Protein Bars, I remembered our pastor had recently recommended a book on his FB page. Wanting to accomplish something of worth, I looked up the title on my phone and asked someone to show me where I could find the book.

With lap top, tea, and choice food, I sat at a small table and read:

"Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging." [Brown, Daring Greatly (New York: Penguin, 2012), 10 -11.]

I bought the book.

My musical isn't finished yet. And I'm barely going to have time to write these thoughts before a piano student arrives and my afternoon wanders away from the place of written words.

But Wholehearted living says that's OK. Wholehearted living says show up. Keep trying. Keep writing. Keep being you. Even while in a Kroger Starbucks just waiting on your hubby.