The Day that Bonnie Flew

Early Friday morning, I chose a gingerbread coffee pod and placed it in Bonnie and Lu’s Keurig. When a soft-orange mug was full, I carried it back to where Bonnie lay on her bead, laboring to breathe.

A small coke had offered a pick-me-up around eleven the night before, and another sufficed around three in the morning. A short nap in between kept me going till a wonderful hospice nurse decided to stay the course. When she promised to wake us if anything changed, my niece Jessica, and I slept for another hour.

By 7 am, I held that cup of coffee, and sat with Jess and Bonnie, singing and waiting till the last breath came.

I introduced Jessica and Bonnie last July when the effects of ALS forced Bonnie to hire more caregivers. Knowing Bonnie quite well, I had a hunch that my niece, a nursing student, would be a great fit.

And she was.

Jessica took care of Bonnie on Fridays and Saturdays, helping her through her morning routine. While Bonnie could be a handful due to her OCD tendencies that were magnified by her paralyses, an inborn sweetness endeared her to all who cared for her, including me and Jess.

So when we knew the end was near, we both ended up at her side and stayed through the night.

There were several points when we thought it was time, only to watch the struggle continue. However, though it was hard to watch Bonnie suffer, I found it a most sacred place to dwell.

Walking someone to heaven’s door is a privilege I don’t take lightly. For when you wade deep to the edge of this world, you stand in the place of all things eternal. There, I find nothing here matters, not even much sleep.

Treading softly to that place with Jessica Friday morning, transformed it into something new. Sharing the journey with my grown-up niece, who is just starting her medical career, brought us together in a sacred way I will never forget.

She administered morphine and checked Bonnie’s vitals while I sang and cracked jokes. My favorite moment of the evening occurred after midnight, when Ann, Bonnie’s neighbor, Jess, and I had been worshipping for some time.

Together we’d been able to keep a flow of hymns going. When one forgot a word or verse, another jumped in. We did well till we reached the third verse of Because He Lives.

We started strong, “And then one day, I’ll cross that river. I’ll fight life’s final war with pain…”

Our voices grew in strength, “And then as death gives way to victory…”

Surprisingly, the words hung in the air as we stared at each other, waiting for someone to remember the next line.

But no one did. And all at once, we erupted into laughter, hoping Bonnie had been conscious enough to enjoy our blunder.

Ann left the room to find a hymnal. Jess looked up the words on her IPhone. And many hours later, around 9:50 am, we watched the verse come to completion when Bonnie breathed her last, “I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know He lives.”

Once again, it’s taken me days to finish this blog. An unexpected bout of reflux Sunday night didn’t help. Severe pain woke me around 1:30 am and continued till I had Don call 911. When an EMT confirmed my vitals were only slightly elevated, I treated myself for reflux and eventually slept.

When I could hardly stay awake the last two days, I saw my doctor. Poor food choices combined with a new anti-inflammatory medicine seem to have caused the episode that must have irritated my lungs. Antibiotics have perked me up so I’ll draw this to a close.

Bonnie was an only child whose parents died long ago. But as our small group gathered around her in her final hours, I thought of this verse, “God sets the lonely in families” (Psalm 68: 6).

Her neighbor, Ann, wiped tears. Her caregivers, Jess and Cindy, stood at her side, overflowing with their own emotion. Sherrie, our Bible study leader, joined in after dropping her son off at school and grabbed tissues as well. 

There together, we recognized how God had woven us into the fabric of Bonnie's life. Five years before, our pastor had given Sherrie a list of names to call about joining her Monday night Bible study group. Out of the list of thirty, Lu and Bonnie had been the only ones to join. Two years later, Sherrie invited me, and later, I introduced Jess.

Throw in Lu, her sister-in-law, who faithfully served her the last six years and Ann, her neighbor who loved her through thick and thin, and it was quite obvious that The Almighty had been at work, taking care of His imperfect, sometimes head-strong, yet very sweet servant, Bonnie.

She was surrounded by family in her final moments. God’s family.

And it was a beautiful thing.

I shared this song a few months ago and will post it again in honor of my friend. For she will always be, Part of Me.







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