At Home

For the last few mornings, I've rolled to my coffee pot (on my knee scooter), poured a fresh cup, and then curled up in a comfy place to think, feel, and ruminate. A different kind of emotion churned and it took time for me to figure it out.

While more creative verbiage could be used, two words emanated most: at home.

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines at home as:

1. 1 :  relaxed and comfortable :  at ease <felt completely at home on the stage>
2. 2 :  in harmony with the surroundings
3. 3 :  on familiar ground :  knowledgeable <teachers at home in their subject fields>

My favorite of the three? "In harmony with the surroundings."

If you've started my book, The Great Undoing and My Journey Home, you know I felt out of my skin about five years ago. Like majorly out of my skin.

Every normal I once knew had been turned upside down. And I mean all of them. My church, friends, community. My place of residence. My health. My ability to walk.

Every aspect of my life had an oddity that left me feeling lost.

But God didn't leave me in that no man's land. And over time, the feeling changed.

But after time and introspection, I realized that last Friday night, surrounded by family and friends from all parts of my life, I really felt at home... "in harmony with my surroundings."

Tucked away in The Daily Grind, my first book signing got underway. Courtney sold books while Nathan, Drew, and a few others kept her company.

Calli, a choir student from years ago, even stopped by!

My nephew, Josh, played the keyboard while I signed books. 

My Bible study girls gathered for a photo op. You'll learn more about them in chapter 25.

Mom hung out for a while when the pen slowed.

Friends hung out while I thanked many and sang a little.

I got to introduce David Leonard, my music producer, from Reveal Audio Studios. While a neighbor, Jeanne, hung out and sipped coffee.

Dear friends, Bill and Rosemary, also stopped by and she's mentioned in chapter 37.

My sister, Laura. My son, Nathan. And a friend, Matt stayed the course.

A few important people lingered in the back: My pastor, Craig, who wrote the forward; His daughter, Audrey Grace, who created artwork for the cover and internal glyphs; And my dear spouse, Don.

As well as many others...

My sweet granddaughters stopped for a photo.

Followed by bright eyed piano students and their mom.

More dear friends from chapter 11 made the night special: Grace, Ann, and Jon Nelson.

And in the end, I'm most grateful for Audrey Grace, who helped create such a beautiful cover.

Part way through the evening, my nephew, Drew, stopped by the book signing table and said, "It looks like you belong up here, Aunt Susan. It's just you."

While signing my own book was certainly a dream come true, sharing the moment with so many who helped me find myself again stirred a sense of belonging I've missed.

But since life doesn't sit still, the peace I feel and the sense of harmony I now enjoy may only last for a short while. But that's okay. Because every time I learn to balance again, I grow stronger and less affected by the negative voices that long to throw me off kilter.

And for now, I can scroll through the photos, remember a very special night, and step forward toward a new day.

For all of you who came, I can't thank you enough.